All great things take time

Sometimes you want something so bad it consumes you.

It’s all you ever think about.

You drive towards that goal until you get it.

But something strange happens once you achieve your goal.

You realize that’s not what you want.

You thought that’s what you wanted, but things have changed.

Maybe it was a goal that started years earlier or more recently.

Maybe you work your whole life towards something not knowing you wanted something else.

It’s always good to test to see if what you think you want is really what you want.

Instead of moving to the middle of nowhere, go live in the middle of nowhere at an Airbnb for a few weeks.

Instead of getting an MBA, take a few courses that you would typically take in an MBA.

Instead of switching jobs, shadow someone in a role you think you want.

You never know until you do it.

Sometimes you have to go all in.

If you can dip a couple toes in the water before jumping in, it’s not the worst idea.

You have to try to find what you really like.

At the end of each year my group of “music friends” each write about our top albums of the year.

It’s an enjoyable process to listen to a vast amount of music in search of my next great find.

I’m very passionate about music and love sharing it with other people.

On the other hand, it’s fucking horrible.

It’s one of the most stressful events of my year.

I dread explaining why I like certain artists and albums.

Why do I like this album?

Because it’s really good?

I don’t know, fuck.

And every year, I’m late turning in my review.

I freeze.

I have the albums.

I have a general idea of the order of albums.

But, it’s overwhelming for me to write about.

Why is that?

Why is it so hard for me to sit down and explain the key aspects of an album?

Is it even about describing the music or is it about the fact that the project itself is long and arduous?

The more I thought about it, the more I realize it’s the time and commitment I need to set aside to complete my list.

I always get it done, but I’m also always late.

Why? Because I cram.

I cram my writing into 4-5 days of 4-5 hours per day.

Of course I hate the process.

I have two kids, a wife, and a million other interests.

But, it happened even before that.

No one wants to sit down for 4 straight hours writing and listening and thinking about not sounding like a drunken sailor.

The only way I’m going to finish this year is by working every day on the project with the intention of not finishing.

I don’t want to finish today.

What I want is progress.

Any progress.

One sentence.

One edit.

One review.

One order change.

That’s how you finish overwhelmingly difficult tasks.

You work on them each day for a short period of time.

Eventually, you finish.

I might not be on time finishing my list yet again this year, but I guarantee I finish early than usual.

That’s all that matters.

Personal progress and growth.

Slowly chipping away at hard goals.

Don’t finish your project today.

That’s unnecessary stress and pressure.

Instead, focus on incremental gains and improvements.

It won’t be as rewarding as immediately finishing in a couple of days, but it will get done a lot faster and it will be better overall.

Large tasks are extremely daunting.

They become overwhelming and often debilitating.

I’ve built several areas of my life around breaking up the massive, yet I still fall into the trap.

I become paralyzed by the fact that this thing that I’m trying to finish or start takes a lot of work.

It’s hard.

It’s new and challenging.

It’s going to take a long time.

Instead of finishing it all at once like you’re cramming for a midterm exam, break it up into 15 minutes chunks once a day – or 5 minutes.

Just work on it for a little bit of time each day.

Not five hours a day or until you finish.

Just accomplish something each day.

1 minute of work on a long-term project is better than no time and pounds of stress and anxiety because you haven’t finished.

Block it off if possible in your calendar or whenever you’re free.

Don’t finish your project.

Don’t even think about the end goal.

Focus on incremental improvement.

Any forward movement is positive.

It’s not going to immediately be done.

But it will inch you closer to finishing.

It’s not about making massive changes and massive gains in short periods of time.

It’s about moving towards something at a consistent pace.

Are you going to miss days?

100%.

But don’t let the gravity of the project stop you from pursuing something you’ve dreamed of.

With all the layoffs happening in the tech industry, fear of the unknown can be debilitating.

Do I have a job?

Should I be looking for a new role?

What happens if I get laid off?

There’s an immense amount of uncertainty.

While I don’t believe mass layoffs are necessary, I do believe productivity and ultimately profitability are important.

Not everyone should have a job just because they work at the company.

You have to show results in order to stay employed.

With that being said, we’re all humans.

A mass email to laid off staff is not the way to do it.

Neither is telling people layoffs will happen, but then not immediately letting those employees who are impacted know – they instead will be notified in the coming months.

So what is the right strategy?

My thought process is fairly simple: do the right thing that benefits everyone involved – not that being laid off is beneficial.

You don’t want your current employees to resent you based on your actions towards their former colleagues and friends.

It sets a precedent.

If you can do this to the people I’ve worked with for years, who have been loyal to the company, you would 100% do the same thing to any employee including me.

So why should I work hard for someone that will throw me to the side when things get tough?

The way to properly layoff employees is the following:

1. Set an all-hands meeting with everyone in the company letting them know there will be layoffs

2. Let everyone know they will be aware of the changes by the end of the day at the latest

3. Provide security: let everyone know that even though they will be laid off, they will have x amount of weeks or months to apply to internal roles and that employees laid off will be prioritized for roles vs. Employees with a current role.

4. If they’re unable to find a role internally, you will provide them with a great severance package – 4 months plus added months for the number of years employed at the company. Maybe one or two months for every year they’ve been with the company.

It doesn’t stop there.

5. If they can’t find a role internally, help them find one externally or within your current company’s network – partners, suppliers, friends, colleagues, clients, etc.

Connect them with former colleagues of your company to see how they can help.

This should be all-hands on deck for your organization to make sure you do everything you can to get them a new role.

Imagine the appreciation they would have towards the organization and the relief from your current staff that even if they are laid off, they’ll have the support of the organization.

6. Make sure the employees know they should be applying to your company even though they’ve been laid off.

They’re always welcome back.

It’s goodbye for now but not forever.

Obviously it’s easier said than done but in most cases, this should be the method moving forward.

Unless you’re bleeding money and going under, you should respect the people who have worked hard for your organization through compensation, gratitude, and support.

Just because everyone else is doing it a certain way doesn’t mean you have to.

Try being more compassionate and understanding of the impact it has on your employees.

That’s the best approach.

Be a decent person.

Without systems, my life is a fucking mess.

It’s as simple as this: if I don’t create a system around the goal I want to achieve, I’ll never achieve that goal or even have a chance to achieve it.

It’s starts with making things easier to accomplish.

Making it a part of who I am and who I’m becoming.

Let’s break down the system I built around reading to make it easier to hit my goal – still not a guarantee but makes it more likely.

My goal is to read read 100 books this year – let’s call it 104 or 2 per week.

Okay so, how do I go about planning or creating a system?

How do I expect to hit my reading goal?

How many pages do I have to read per day?

How long does that take me?

What current habits can I tie my listening of books to?

What’s the average length of an audiobook?

What’s the average length of a physical book?

Let’s work backwards.

Based on last year’s reading stats, the average length of book that I read or listened to was 252 pages.

Starting with physical reading, if I read a page a minute, 30 pages per day/30 minutes of physical reading, it would take me 8.4 days to finish a book.

Okay good start.

Now, I can either increase the amount of reading I do per day or increase the pace in which I read.

So how many additional minutes or pages do I need to add to hit 252 pages in a week?

If I add 6 minutes of additional reading per day – only 6 pages – it will take me exactly 7 days to read a 252 page book.

That’s super doable.

Now let’s tie this into an existing habit.

Right before bed – and after I watch one episode of a show with my wife – I’ll read for thirty minutes before I go to sleep.

30 minutes of a show and then I read for thirty minutes before bed. Simple enough.

What about the 6 additional minutes?

Let’s tie that into my lunch break.

The first six minutes of my break is dedicated to reading six pages of a book.

Very simple strategy: I get to enjoy a lunch with my family after reading for 6 minutes.

This isn’t a perfect strategy and it won’t always work out this way but, it’s at least a plan to accomplish the goal.

I can always find 6 minutes throughout the day or add them on the backend of my 30 minute reading block before bed.

Okay perfect – now what about listening to books?

Based on last year, my average audiobook length was around 10 hours.

My goal this year is 2 hours per day.

Some audiobooks are longer than 10 hours – Truman was around 54 hours – or shorter than 10 hours – Steven Pressfield’s books are 2 hours or less – but they typically average out to about 10 hours or less.

If I’m listening to a particularly long audiobook, I try to pair it with a shorter book knowing it will take me weeks to finish.

So how do I hit 2 hours of listening per day?

The first hour is easy.

Let’s again tie this into another habit of mine: 30 minute workout at the beginning of my day and 30 minutes to close out my day once I put my kids to bed.

I’ll listen to 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night while I workout.

It’s a good start but still leaves an hour.

I take 2-3 walking breaks per day that last 15 minutes each.

I listen to my audiobook for 15 minutes during those walks, let’s call it 2 walks per day.

So that’s another 30 minutes of listening tied to an existing habit.

Now remains 30 minutes.

I brush my teeth twice per day – I’ve heard some people only brush once per day? That weirds me out.

Anyway, it’s usually 5 minutes total rinsing off my toothbrush, applying toothpaste, and then brushing my teeth. The electric toothbrush I use has a two minute timer which is amazing.

There’s another 10 minutes.

For the final 20 minutes, it’s a little more personal.

I typically use the bathroom 4-5 times per day – is that a lot? It seems like a lot but it’s who I am.

It’s typically 5-7 minutes per “session” so that’s anywhere between 20 minutes to 35 minutes.

Damn. Now that I write that out, that is a lot.

And there it is.

I’ve found it easiest to tie my reading to an existing habit – driving is another easy habit to tie listening to books to so that every time you drive, you listen to a book or podcast.

This isn’t a foolproof plan but it’s what I’ve used to read/listen to a large volume of books.

I don’t always, 100% of the time, follow this plan but I almost always hit 2 and a half hours of total reading/listening per day or at least average 2 and a half hours per day per month.

This is my strategy and approach but this won’t work for everyone.

It’s a framework for accomplishing my goals.

It’s the only way I’ve found that works.

It successfully helps my achieve hard goals.

Without a framework or system in place, I’m just letting my day come to me.

I’ve done it that way.

What typically would happen is the end of my day would come and I would try to cram everything in.

I’d inevitably fall short and then have to add more time to the next day.

That would just compound to the point where I would be so far behind I’d give up.

It’s still easy to fall behind.

It’s even easier for me to have my reading tied to my workout habit and my night time routine.

Create a system that works for you.

Going out of your way to do something.

Putting yourself out there.

Trying.

Reaching out to someone who inspires you.

Applying for that job you’re not qualified for.

Sometimes that’s enough.

The simple act of attempting something puts you in a class of your own.

Most people don’t start.

They expect things to happen because they have a great résumé and reputation.

Let me tell you something, no one cares.

It’s not just going to magically happen.

You have to go get it.

You have to attempt it.

You won’t land that dream job suddenly.

That project won’t create itself.

You won’t hit your goals for the year by sheer luck or karma or because you feel you should.

You need to take initiative and then plan the rest.

You’re already ahead of 100% of the people who haven’t started.

Give it a go and then fine tune your approach.

Sometimes no one tries but you.

You don’t have to be great or even ready.

The attempt can be all that matters.

The start can be the thing that separates you from the pack.

Take initiative and you won’t regret it.

Think it should or will happen is the path to regret.

There’s not one person who knows how to do everything.

We look at these “Gurus” or business leaders and think, “Man, this guy knows everything. I could never be like him. I can’t even restart my computer.”

What’s interesting about these figures is that they don’t know everything.

They might come off this way, but it’s impossible.

No one knows how to do everything.

So what do they do? How do they portray themselves like this?

They have the upmost confidence in themselves that they’ll figure it out.

They’ve always figured it out.

They learn as they go.

Your idols don’t know shit, until they do.

They’ve all had to endlessly learn.

It never stops.

So don’t idolize someone because they’re so intelligent or so rich or so connected.

For the most part, they have no fucking idea what they’re doing.

That should make us feel good.

We all essentially start at the same point and figure it out on the way.

You can learn anything you want, it just takes time.

You can solve any problem, it just takes effort.

We’re all trying to make our way in the world.

You’ll figure it out.

You just have to try and attempt it and believe you’ll eventually figure it out or ask for help.

That’s it.

Several things are outside of our control.

The weather.

What other people think of you.

How people act.

What other people do with their lives.

You can also control the majority of your life.

What your morning routine looks like.

What you eat.

How often you exercise and the types of exercise you perform.

You control your mindset and attitude.

You control what you watch and listen to.

You control your daily habits.

You control who you interact with – outside of work.

You can control your thoughts and opinions of others.

You control your reaction to different situations.

You control who you want to become.

You control the amount of work you put into something.

You control when to quit and move on.

You decide when to start something new.

Focus on your ability to control the majority of your life.

Control what you can and you can become who you want to be.

Great job reading the title.

Fantastic work cleaning up.

Thank you for helping Mom.

Keep trying!

These are all common phrases we tell our children.

It helps them learn and keeps them motivated to try new things.

It shows we believe they can do anything and everything they set their mind to.

To keep reading and having fun and failing without realizing it.

What happens when they get older?

Usually, it seems to stop.

Less praising.

Less supportiveness.

Less guidance to try again.

Less conversations about trying new things and failing.

It’s hard being a parent.

It’s easy to slack off and forget the past.

Keep showing your support and confidence in them.

Give them the freedom and option to try new things and fail.

Failure is not the end.

It’s the beginning of something else.

We all need someone in our corner.

We all need support.

Why not you?

What not their parent?

That’s all they need – the permission to try and the support of someone else.

Be that person now and for the rest of their life.

Parents exist to make a positive impact on the lives of our children.

To help them grow and become a better person.

Never forget how happy you both were when they said their first word or walked for the first time or said I love you mommy and daddy.

They’ll always be that little child who needs your support.

Never forget that.

You should feel doubt.

It should be hard.

It shouldn’t feel natural.

You should feel nervous.

Of course you have doubt – you’ve never done it before.

Once you start, everything gets better.

You start to learn more.

You practice and go from zero to minimal understanding – which is a huge difference.

You gain confidence through actually doing things, not by worrying what could happen.

Not by believing you can’t do something because you haven’t tried.

You have to try.

You have to take your shot.

If you don’t, you’ll never grow.

You’ll never learn.

You’ll never get better.

You should do the things that scare you the most.

Self doubt is normal.

Everyone has self doubt.

Everyone feels nervous.

These feelings are normal.

Run towards that feeling instead of avoiding your fear.

That’s the only way we accomplish anything memorable in our life.

Don’t think changing your environment is going to change how you feel inside.

The right place can have a positive impact but how you feel is the route of the issue.

Focus on improving yourself vs. changing your environment – the place you live or work or exercise.

You have to work on making yourself better.

Once you improve yourself, the environment will matter less and less.

If you’re unhappy with yourself in NYC, there’s a good chance you’ll be unhappy in Hawaii.

It might be enjoyable for a few days, but those feelings will creep back in.

Focus on improving your health through eating healthier foods and exercising consistently.

Reduce the mind numbing activities of alcohol, drugs, social media, and constant TV.

Worry about making yourself feel better each day.

That can be through eliminating bad habits and replacing those habits with good habits – like reading, writing, and learning something new.

Your environment is important, but you’re more important.

Understand why you feel the way you feel and prioritize your well-being before anything else.

It’s what every role, company, and product comes down to.

At the core of each role within a company, you’re a problem solver.

You’re trying to solve the problems of the companies you work with and the people you interact with.

If you’re known for solving problems, more people will rely on you.

More companies will do business with you.

More people will want to work with you.

If can solve problems, you’re an extremely valuable asset.

It’s not about trying to sell to people or trying to use your title to show your credibility.

The way you become credible and in-demand is through your actions.

It’s through your ability to solve problems.

We all have problems we want to solve but don’t know how.

Find the problems.

Come up with creative solutions to those problems.

You’ll be a sought after person in all walks of life.

Rethink your role.

You’re not a salesperson, you’re a creative problem solver.

You’re not a manager, you’re helping your team and the people they interact with solve problems.

If you understand that everyone, in every industry, is actively looking for solutions to major issues within their work, it’s just a matter of uncovering those problems.

It’s about taking an outsiders viewpoint, understanding what’s been tried before, and coming up with different approaches and options to try to solve the issues.

Open your mind to see areas for improvement vs. Complaining about the issues you see.

Find solutions to problems and you’ll start becoming a known and crucial resource.

Mentorship doesn’t have to be so formal.

It’s not like you have to ask someone to be your mentor.

If you did, that would probably ruin any type of relationship you envisioned.

Unless they approach you on mentoring, don’t ask.

Instead, ask someone you admire questions or for feedback.

Ask them how to get better and how they accomplished their goals.

It can be someone you work with or a family friend or someone in a group you’re a part of.

A mentor doesn’t even have to be someone you’ve met or know.

They can be an author.

A podcaster.

A blogger.

A general content creator.

A President.

A General.

An innovator.

They can be dead or alive.

It doesn’t matter.

If you’re learning from them and reducing your mistakes, that’s a mentor.

If they’re guiding you to always get better and always improve, that’s a mentor.

If they’re helping you in any measurable way, that’s a mentor.

You have mentors all around you.

The question is, are these mentors positively or negatively impacting your life?

Find someone you want to be like and reach out to them.

Find someone from the past who was successful – in your eyes – and read about them.

Learn from them.

A mentor can change your life.

Don’t tell someone they’re wrong – no one likes to hear that.

Don’t yell and argue with someone you believe to be wrong.

It never turns out well.

Even if you are right, how does that help?

Instead, understand why someone thinks a certain way vs. criticizing them.

Listen to their viewpoint.

Let them make their case.

You may disagree with them.

You most likely will.

But, that’s okay.

It’s not about winning or losing.

They can explain themselves and you can explain your perspective.

That’s it.

Don’t make them feel bad about the way they think – mostly, it’s what they grew up learning from those around them.

They won’t change their minds because you told them they’re wrong.

They’ll resent you.

Listen to better understand why they think that way.

That’s the only way we can come together and learn from one another.

It doesn’t have to be about right and wrong.

Can’t we have a constructive conversation where we may disagree?

That’s a better outcome than hatred for someone because they’re different.

We need to be better as a whole vs. choosing which team we’re on.

Can’t we all be on the same team with differing opinions?

Wouldn’t it be worse if we all agreed?

How often do you believe you don’t have time to do something?

No time to read.

No time to exercise.

No time to change.

No time to start something new.

It’s not that we don’t have the time, it’s that we need to have an excuse around why we’re not achieving what we want in our lives.

We do have the time.

You can always make the time.

If something matters, you’ll find the time.

Not having the time is a lie.

It doesn’t have to be an hour.

It doesn’t have to be at the same time each day.

You can find 10 minutes when you’re free.

Or five minutes.

That’s all it takes.

Don’t focus on the amount of time you perceive to lack.

Focus on starting something new.

Focus on your need to improve.

Start small.

You do have the time.

If you don’t have five minutes in a day, you need to reevaluate your life.

It’s difficult to do new things and to create new habits.

If you want to change and be a better person for yourself, your family, and your friends, you’ll make the time.

Make the time for learning and creation because you’re right, you don’t have the time – the time to waste waiting for your life to magically improve.