“Come out to dinner with all of us!”

“Let’s go get drinks!”

“Do you want to hangout on Sunday?”

We have so many different choices to make in life. Should I run today or skip and have fun with friends? Should I work on my business or relax all day? Should I go out tonight or should I stay in and have a movie night?

We need to learn to be more selfish at times. Focus on yourself. You control your own destiny. This doesn’t mean you have to be a complete dick and only care about yourself and no one else. This helps you select what you do more carefully. Instead of drinking on a Saturday night, hang in with the family and enjoy that time together. Work on yourself after work instead of going out with friends. You won’t ever make everyone around you happy so you might as well focus on what makes YOU happy. 

Take a minute to think about what’s really important to you in life. Maybe it’s family, your health, business, friends, sports, etc. Make a list of the 3 most important to you specifically. Whenever something comes up or you’re asked to do something figure out if it relates to any of these 3 things. If not decline the offer. Now, every now and then you should go out and have fun. But, the majority of your time should be spent doing things that are most important to you. This will inevitably eliminate people from your life. Remember though that it’s for the best. This may sound ruthless but if they don’t align with what’s most important to you they’re wasting your time. So, be more selfish now. It will help you realize what matters most to you and save you a ton of time on useless activities. You’re better off that way. 

“The sad thing is most people have to check with someone before they do the things that make them happy. We’re all passing through; the least we can do is be happy, and the only way to do that is by being selfish.” -Gene Simmons

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” –Zig Ziglar

Everyone complains, gossips and talks shit from time to time. It’s how we feel connected with one another. But what good does complaining do? It changes nothing about the situation. Does it make you feel good to complain? Maybe it feels good to get those feelings off your chest but that’s a whole other area of discussion. 

Complaining makes others around you feel the need to complain. It makes stupid situations seem important. “I can’t believe Bobby gets all the sales leads and I don’t. He doesn’t deserve that.” Ok. Maybe Bobby doesn’t deserve the sales leads but what changes by you complaining about it? Nothing.

Complaints will only impact the people around you only in a negative way. They can destroy the core of an organization by first manifesting in one person and spreading to others. You need to stop complaining before anything catastrophic happens. First figure out why you’re complaining and address the issue. Maybe you complain because that’s how you were raised or you want to fit in with others. It could be a variety of things. Either way, understand why you’re complaining. 

Ok, now I understand complaining only impacts people negatively. How do I change? On the Tim Ferriss podcast, Tim introduces no complaining for 21 days by Will Bowen. You wear a purple bracelet (rubber band or frankly anything) on your left wrist and try to avoid complaining for 21 days straight. Every time you complain you move the bracelet to your right wrist and start the 21 days all over again. This will help you become more aware of how often you’re complaining. It will help you change. Most importantly it will help you reduce the number of complaints you have per day. Being more aware will help you turn a complaint into a positive outlook on the situation. Realize when you’re complaining, why you’re complaining and focus on avoiding complaining. This will help you stay more positive and affect the people around you in a positive way.

Help spread the positive feeling. 

Graduate highschool, go to college, work for forty years at a company, get married, have kids, buy a house, drive a minivan, move to Florida, retire there and die. Holy shit that sounds depressing. That is what the “normal” life looked like for our parents generation and what’s still wildly popular for most Americans. 

People are ok with being average. Taking no risks. Keeping the status quo. Sticking to what they know and staying where they’ve always been. Having someone else tell them what to do. Having the same job and same routine day in and day out. 

It’s not a terrible way to live. We’re very priveledged to have the resources we do available. If you make over $50,000 per year you’re the top 1% of all earners in the world. Most people in the US make that easily. So why don’t more people take calculated risks? Don’t work for someone the rest of your life or do the same shit every single day. Go out there and get what you want. Set higher expectations for yourself. Set harder goals. Step outside your boundaries. The worst thing that happens is you mess up and learn from it. Besides, if you’re making over $50,000 a year now, surely you could try your own thing, have it fail and still get an equally paying job (if not better with your new credentials of running a business or traveling around the he world. 

Just try something different today. Don’t make it a drastic change at first. Take a step by step approach. Ease your way into it. You don’t want to be normal like everyone else. Have fun and take risks. The worst thing that happens is you fail and learn. 

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” -Mark Twain

You’re your own person. We’re all different from each other. You have your own distinct personality.

Take pride in that. Let that person shine through. You shouldn’t have to hide it. Use your differences to your advantage. 

We believe by showing our real self we’ll be found out about. Like we’re some sort of phony. We worry what other people will think of the REAL us. What many people don’t realize is that we’re all weird. We fart, dance awkwardly, sing in the shower, pick our noses, talk to ourselves and every now and then do dumb shit. That’s who WE are. Don’t see this as a disadvantage but rather a way to connect with others on a deeper level. Let the real you shine through. Be weird. You are weird. We are weird. Don’t be afraid to show that weirdness to the world. It’ll come out eventually. Might as well flaunt it now. 

“Where’s your will to be weird?” -Jim Morrison

“We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Believe in yourself. Take it day by day, step by step. Believe what you’re doing now will pay off.

We all have that voice in the back of our head saying we’re not good enough. We don’t have the experience or the expertise. We don’t have enough money or time. We don’t know where or how to start. We don’t even know what to start. Start something. Figure it out. Remember, it won’t be a quick process. The belief that you can do it the first step. You are good enough right now in this moment. You have more time than you know. Worry about the money later. You need to believe. Believe in yourself. Believe in your cause. Believe in your work.

Your future self will thank you graciously.

“Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you to reach the heights of your capabilities or make the money that you want without becoming very good at it.” -Brian Tracy

Do you truly believe the president of the United States runs the country entirely alone? Or do you believe it was Steve Jobs who created the most influential and innovative products of our lifetime by himself? If you do then you’re insane. There are so many moving parts that go on behind the scenes that we don’t notice. What I’m trying to get at is that we don’t have to go at this alone. As a matter of fact we can’t or else we’ll lose. We need people behind the scenes helping us and coaching through the tough times. 

People who have been where we have before. People who understand the hard things. People who needed someone like themselves at the worst of times. You need a supporting cast behind you. No matter what you’re trying to accomplish you need a team. A team of experts who compliment you. When you’re training for a race you need a coach to guide you on your path. Someone to hold you accountable for getting the work in. Someone to make sure you’re doing everything you need to do on a daily basis. This shouldn’t be one person. It’s almost always more. This team will guide you to your goal. Follow there rules and help them show you the way. Don’t try  to do this on your own. Assemble the correct team around you and reap the benefits. You can do this. You will do this. But, it must be with the help of your supporting cast. 

Maybe Nike had the right idea here. Just do it. It’s such a simple slogan but so powerful. All it takes. Just fucking do it. It’s too obvious really. We all have goals we want to accomplish. Projects we want to start. Events we want to run. Why don’t we just start? All it takes is one step. It doesn’t even have to be in the right direction. It just has to happen. For you to accomplish those goals you need to do SOMETHING. 

Visualize what you want your life to look like. Who are you hanging out with? What do you look like? How did you get there? After answering those questions, think about the why. Why do you want to start training? Why do you want to look like that? You may start to change your goals. Make your goals for YOU. No one else. But again, if you want to own your own business or run 100 miles a week you have to start. We all start from the same place. Rock bottom. It’s those of us who take the first step and are consistent who survive and thrive. You don’t have to create a company in a day. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s going to be a long strenuous process. You need to know that now. But if you just do it, whatever it may be for you, you take your first step down your path. You begin to do things YOU want to do. Take your time at first but don’t be stagnant. Do something. Don’t wait. Just act. 

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” -Mark Caine

That Monday feeling on a Wednesday. Feeling stressed. Not wanting to put the work in today. Fuck today. You don’t have to feel like this. Have fun every once in a while. Relax! Work hard but don’t take life too seriously. It’s too short to be angry all the time. 

Smile more and stay positive. Have fun with your days! Remember that everything will be alright and this day will be over soon enough. Make a game of the day. Notice and track how many times you’re staying positive and/or smiled. From there reward yourself everytime you achieve one of these two things. By giving yourself time for fun activities like rock climbing, hiking, watching tv really anything. For every good thing you do give yourself five minutes of your favorite activity. Hopefully these activities involve being outdoors or doing something active. Get away from your desk or couch and go have fun outside. 

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

We’re taught to always win. Winning is everything. Never give up until you succeed. You can do anything you set your mind to. All valid points but we should’ve been focusing more on the road to winning. The amount of work you have to put in. It’s never easy. There are no short cuts. That’s what makes winning so enjoyable. It isn’t the fame and money that comes with winning. It’s the amount of times you failed and the amount of hours you put it in a daily basis that makes winning incredible. The road to winning is what makes it great.

No one likes to fail. No one wants to disappoint their family members. No one wants to look stupid. No one wants to be made fun of or laughed at. If you don’t try you’ll never fail and if winning is the byproduct of failing you’ll never win. You have to know going into any venture you will fail. Not everything is always going to work out exactly as you’ve planned. It doesn’t work that way and it never will. You can plan and plan all you want but until you take that first step you’re not any closer to winning. If you know failing is part of the process before hand you ready yourself for the road ahead. Failure is on that road along with time and suffering. It’s going to take a long time and it won’t be easy. That’s what makes winning great.

A lot of people run. We either run for fun or run competitively. But how many of us actually realize and focus on ourselves running. Most of the time we just run to a certain distant that we had mapped out previously or just follow our GPS watches. We drift off into whatever thought pops into our head. We zone out and focus more on what is on our minds instead of running. Next time you go for a run be more aware of how you feel and your surroundings.

Focus on your form. You’re form is so important when running. It gages how fast or slow you’re running. It also helps you grind through those tough runs. Feel each step on the ground. Feel your heart beating. Focus on the now. Focus on you running in that moment. It will help you gain control of your run and overtime perform better.

Focus on your breathing. Your breathing controls your speed and your feelings for the run. It helps determine if this run will be good or bad. So instead of doing quick bursts in your breathing, when you begin to notice yourself struggle slowly take in deep breaths during your run. Deep breaths help you regain control of your flow and helps you realize that you don’t have to breath as fast or heavily as you are.

Focus on yourself. Don’t worry if other runners pass you or if someone you know is faster than you. Focus on you. You’re the only person you should care about. This will take time. If you’re not as good as you would like to be then put more work in. Beat that person that’s better than you. But, at this point in time, focus on yourself in this moment. Don’t compare yourself to others. That just leads to disappointment and frustration.

Train yourself to be more positive while running. Instead of telling yourself how hard the run is or how bad you feel today transition to a more positive approach. Tell yourself you feel great, even if you don’t. Tell yourself it’s easy, even if it isn’t. I’m no guru in self talk or positivity but I have seen the positive effects of staying positive first hand. Even if you feel silly at first at least try it out. You’ll notice a difference over time.

Now do it all together. Focus on your form, breathing, yourself and be more positive. You will not only be more excited to run but you’ll become more confident in your running and yourself. You don’t have to do all four things at first but slowly add them into your routine every run. These will change the way you run and help you run more confidently for longer periods of time. Trust yourself and forget about everything else.

“Fuck that guy he just cut me off!” WHY do you even care? Seriously why does it matter? These events should not affect you emotionally. Let’s take a step back and truly think about this. What changes if you yell at the guy who cut you off? The only thing that comes from that is negative. He could hit your car or try to beat you up. What if, instead of yelling at this guy, you just let it go. Let him go back to what he was doing and you go back to what you were doing. It’s that simple. He most likely didn’t mean it anyway. It’s not like he was trying to cut you off. We all have this happen. We realize it’s not that big of a deal but we’re already yelling so we might as well keep going.

Instead of yelling, recognize you’re pissed off, take a deep breath in and exhale. Do this four times and in your head let yourself know that it’s really not a big deal. People make mistakes! That’s part of our nature. Instead of yelling, give the man or woman a nice wave and continue on with your day as if it didn’t happen.

You can use this practice in anything throughout the day. A pissed off coworker, you spilling water all over yourself, stubbing your toe, etc. In the grand scheme of things these events never matter. So instead of freaking out, which changes absolutely nothing, realize you’re pissed off and before saying anything nasty or rude walk away from the situation. Once you’re at a comfortable distance take in your deep breath and repeat in your head “it’s truly not a big deal” then exhale.

“Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious”. -Phillips Brooks

“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” – Bill Keane

If you really want to use your time wisely make it a focus everyday. We want so many things in life but how hard are we willing to work for them? When the going gets tough we give up. When we hit a bump in the road we stop, not knowing how close we are to victory. It may feel useless what you’re doing now but you have to take every day one step at a time. Focus on the bigger picture but make small achievable goals along the way to your ultimate goal. Reward yourself for accomplishing that first run, that first article or talking to that person in the coffee shop for the first time. Time is always decreasing no matter how we look at it. So we need to use our time wisely.

Track your time spent 

Tracking your time helps you realize how much time you spend on useless things but also how much time you spend on important activities. We all say, “Oh, well I don’t have time for that” or “I would love to do that if I had more time”. You do have more time, way more time then you think. The method I use is having a stopwatch and a journal, it’s that simple. Track everything you do and when I say everything I mean everything. Eating, crying, watching TV, sleeping, etc. You may realize you’re very efficient but need a couple areas to sharpen up. But, like most of us you’ll probably realize how much time you waste on unimportant activities. Track all your time for a week straight and add up how much time you spend on each activity. After that cut the time you spend on useless tasks that aren’t moving you forward toward your goals. I first cut each item by 10 – 20% (60 minutes of TV to 50 minutes). This helps you find that extra bit of time. Even if it is 10 minutes here and there it adds up. After that initial stage you’re free to keep tracking time or to keep cutting those unimportant tasks down in small percentages until they’re almost eliminated.

Give yourself a reward system

This is pretty self explanatory but a crucial step in the process. After working for 1 hour (or whatever time you choose) on a task reward yourself with 15 minutes of something you enjoy or are passionate about. Maybe you like to play video games (I’m a huge tetris geek), maybe you enjoy music, maybe you want to sit outside and enjoy the sun. Whatever you chose as your reward make it something you enjoy deeply. This helps you get your most important tasks done and helps you look forward to it’s completion. Make your reward worth working for and you’ll accomplish more than you’ve ever dreamed of.

Say No

As much as we all would like to please everyone it’s not possible. Say no every now and then. You can’t please everyone so why not at least please one person, yourself. Focus on what you really want out of life when making these types of choices. Ask yourself this before ever saying yes, “Will this benefit me now and does this align with my goals”. Now, of course there will always be some exceptions. Rock climbing will benefit you physically and helps you clear your mind when you’re stressed out. It doesn’t directly affect you as much as a social network outing with others in your industry or others with common interests. But maybe you don’t grab drinks with your friends this weekend and focus on yourself and your goals instead. We have to realize it’s ok to say no. Don’t beat around the bush and definitely don’t lie. Tell them exactly why you can’t come. They may be upset initially but will respect you for letting them know.

Time is our most overlooked asset. Please, use your time wisely and make a difference in not only your life but the others around you. Hard work does pay off. Track your time wisely but don’t be psychotic about it. If you watch TV a little longer one day or don’t fully track everything don’t beat yourself up. You have to make it up the next day though. Don’t get into the habit of taking a little time here and there; it will put you right back at square one. Have fun with this. Enjoy what you’re doing. Be smart about your time and you will be handsomely rewarded.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” -Theodore Roosevelt

You don’t want this journey to be easy. If it were easy everyone would do it. Encourage the moments of difficulty and struggle. The more pain you endure = the closer you are to achieving your goals. Think about that in every step you take, every time you fail, everyone who has told you you can’t do it or you’re not good enough. Those people won’t embrace difficulty. They won’t put the time in that you do everyday. They stray away from the hard things. They’re afraid to fail. Afraid to be made fun of for chasing their dreams. Afraid they’ll be ridiculed by their friends and family. You’re not one of those people. You CAN do this. You don’t care what people think or how others will look at you. You don’t care. You’re good enough right now. You have all the resources necessary to begin. It won’t be easy and you love that. Why not give it a try? Why not today? The worst thing that happens is you fall flat on your face, peel yourself off the sidewalk and start over again tomorrow. Take the first step now. It doesn’t have to be huge. Start that business. Start running today. Start that new novel.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anyone can BEGIN a new habit or activity. Anyone can start learning a new language, playing a new instrument, starting a new business or even training for a marathon. But, how many people actually finish what they begin? We all want to learn something new but aren’t willing to do it on a consistent basis. But why? Why do we start something so often to just give up on it eventually? Boredom. We get bored of doing the same thing day after day. Putting in the same effort day in and day out. The same routine bores us. Lets look at boredom from a separate angle. Most people do the same thing day after day anyways and most of the time it’s something we dread! We drive to the same place, seeing the same people, and most of the time doing the same job. So why can we do something we hate on a consistent basis but not learn or start something new and do that same activity day after day?

It’s all about our dedication and mindset. We have to be 100% dedicated to learning our new language or starting that new business while also having the right mindset. We have to realize from the beginning it’s going to take a lot of time and effort like anything else. So, before starting anything new before hand know that it may initally be exciting but as time passes that excitment will dwindle away. When that boredom hits remember why you started in the ifrst place and focus on what you want to accomplish in the long term. It’s going to suck, be boring and at times you’re going to want to quit but you can’t. Remember why you’re doing this and who you’re doing this for. The end result of having a side business or running a marathon will be so worth it and you will appreciate the tough times you went through. It will make those tough times that much more enjoyable.

Think big picture, focus on the end result, embrace the boredom and keep chugging along.

As I open my eyes I notice how groggy I feel. I’m also slightly hungover. Not interested in doing any type of movement or physical activity. Just give me one more hour of sleep. This internal battle goes on for a while. Looking up at the ceiling this small voice inside me shouts to get up. I reluctantly listen and grab my journal. My day has now begun. Today is one of “those days”. A day where you don’t want to do anything. You’ll always have these type of days no matter how successful or driven you are. It’s in our nature. But how do we reduce the number of days and what should we do when we start feeling like this? The last thing you want to do is skip whatever you had planned for your day ahead. Pushing through and doing the work is what separates the good from the great. So what should you when you have this feeling? There are a couple tricks I have learned to combat these negatives thoughts. It’s not a foolproof plan but it will help you keep on track.

Keep your eyes on the prize

Focus on the end result everyday. Think big picture but realize how important consistency and hard work is everyday. If you wake up feeling like crap you can change your attitude. You need to do the work eventually so why not now? What I use for this is the five minute journal. I write down three things I’m grateful for, three things that would make the day great and then right down my daily affirmations (I am motivated, driven and worthy..). This helps me start my day off on the right foot by helping me realize how blessed I am. You don’t need to buy the five minute journal to write down these items but I would highly suggest it. Do this at the beginning of every day before anything else.

Just Do it

This is simple. Just do it. Wake up and do the worst thing you have to do for the day or whatever is on the top of your to do list. “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” – Mark Twain. This is one of my favorite quotes but it’s so true. Do the worst or hardest thing first thing in the morning and the rest of your day will be easy. You feel accomplished and motivated. It’s going to suck and it’s not going to be easy. But remember, just do it and everything else falls into place.

Remain consistent

Consistency is the key to success. When having one of those days remind yourself that everyday counts. Every second matters. So how do we remain consistent? What works great for me is to block out a portion of time on my calendar to where i do my most important work. Usually first thing in the morning or right before bed at night. You have to block this time and make it sacred. No matter what happens you must do your work at that time every day to create consistency to the point where you won’t even have to think about it. It becomes your routine. If a friend asks you do do something at your blocked off time you kindly let them know you can’t. This will help you power through those days and kick their asses.

Keep pushing through. Get rid of the bad habits and create new ones. This is your time to shine. Don’t let “those days” get in the way on your path to success. Pushing through these tough times separates you from the majority of the population. Keep your eyes on the prize, Just do it and remain consistent.